My wife has been knitting for over 4 years and I still do not have a knit hat. This strikes me as an absurd contradiction. The two most basic knitted items have to be scarves and hats (I am assuming, I don't knit), and I haven't been knitted either. I have been given a pair of socks that don't quite fit and a sweater that chokes me when I sit down (a story for another post), both of which were prototypes for other projects for other people (most of which I don't know).
To be fair, I have also been given knit cozies for all the miscellaneous electronic flotsam floating around my work bag (Andrea calls it my purse) and a great pair of knit gloves for Christmas (or The Holidays, Solstice, Kwanza or whatever floats your boat). But that is not the point.
The point is, Andrea has knitted more hats for more babies than I thought possible. I think she is now directly competing with China's knit baby hat import industry (and she is probably working for a lower hourly wage, maybe they will start outsourcing work to her).
But the number of knit hats (or scarves) she has knitted for her husband remains steady at zero.
What is up with this? I am a contributing member of society who pays his taxes and, in the words of the great George W. Bush, "puts food on my family". Babies, on the other hand, don't contribute anything but drool and poo, and they get all the knit hats they want. Can you believe this is happening in America?
I am writing this in the hope that the knitting masses who read this will rise up in their righteous fury and force my wife to knit me a hat.
Or maybe not.
It has now been 1521 days since Andrea started knitting and her Husband still does not have a hat.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
To be fair (and of course, who wants to be fair?), there is a scarf on the needles for Bill, the hat is in timeout and the sweater is going to be one of my summer projects. What I want to know is this: Does Bill use his cozies? and does he know where both of his socks are? Until I see that my handiwork is going to be treated with the respect it deserves, I may or may not work on things for him.
ReplyDeleteI've been knitting for several years and during the past few years have raised over $2000 with my knitting along with the four other members of my knit group.
ReplyDeletemy husband doesn't have a hat or a scarf, either.
there can be some comfort in the old adage that the cobbler's children have no shoes and the hair dresser's children have bad hair cuts.
tbat's why hubbies have no hats.
beverly
http://www.knittersrestaurant.blogspot.com
Dear Bill,
ReplyDeleteI have known Andrea a longer time than you have, less intimately of course, none the less ... I have not ONE knitted item of any sort from Andrea ever. And might I add, I emergency mailed you both your first-married-christmans together complimenting crocheted cute christmas hats. Does she not call me pseudo mom? Yet all of this, and the only thing I have to show for it is ... pseudo knitted wonders. bah hum bug. not a cozie to show.