Hatless in San Diego

My wife has been knitting for over 4 years and I still do not have a knit hat. This strikes me as an absurd contradiction. The two most basic knitted items have to be scarves and hats (I am assuming, I don't knit), and I haven't been knitted either. I have been given a pair of socks that don't quite fit and a sweater that chokes me when I sit down (a story for another post), both of which were prototypes for other projects for other people (most of which I don't know).

To be fair, I have also been given knit cozies for all the miscellaneous electronic flotsam floating around my work bag (Andrea calls it my purse) and a great pair of knit gloves for Christmas (or The Holidays, Solstice, Kwanza or whatever floats your boat). But that is not the point.

The point is, Andrea has knitted more hats for more babies than I thought possible. I think she is now directly competing with China's knit baby hat import industry (and she is probably working for a lower hourly wage, maybe they will start outsourcing work to her).

But the number of knit hats (or scarves) she has knitted for her husband remains steady at zero.

What is up with this? I am a contributing member of society who pays his taxes and, in the words of the great George W. Bush, "puts food on my family". Babies, on the other hand, don't contribute anything but drool and poo, and they get all the knit hats they want. Can you believe this is happening in America?

I am writing this in the hope that the knitting masses who read this will rise up in their righteous fury and force my wife to knit me a hat.

Or maybe not.






It has now been 1521 days since Andrea started knitting and her Husband still does not have a hat.